


Keeps Me Going

by jisungsjheekies



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate - Freeform, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-24
Updated: 2019-10-24
Packaged: 2021-01-02 01:08:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21153077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jisungsjheekies/pseuds/jisungsjheekies
Summary: With Felix away on tour, you weren't sure how much more you could take.





	Keeps Me Going

It had been about a year and a half since your life had changed for the better. A year and a half since you and Felix started dating. You’d never forget the day he asked you to be his girlfriend.

Felix was so upset that day. You both had planned to go to an amusement park for the day but when you woke up that morning, you looked out of your window to see that it was pouring rain. You’d both been so excited to ride the roller-coasters but thanks to the rain, those plans were ruined. Felix proposed the idea of building a blanket fort in your living room and having a Disney movie day. You immediately ran to gather every blanket that you owned, leaving Felix to watch you in adoration.

During the fourth movie, your stomach had begun to growl in hunger as Felix giggled. You suggested baking cookies which Felix excitedly obliged, running after you into the kitchen. In the process of mixing the ingredients, you asked Felix to hand you to flour but when you turned to the boy, all you saw was a cloud of white. Felix bursted into a fit of giggles as he took in the sight of you, completely covered in flour. While he was distracted, you quickly cracked an egg on the top of his head. The boy’s laughter died down as he looked at you in shock, a smug look on your face.

In an instant, a food fight broke out in your kitchen as the two of you continued to cover the other in whatever you could find. Sooner or later, you’d run out of things to throw as you took in each other’s appearances, bursting into laughter immediately. A mixture of flour, sugar and eggs covered you guys as well as the kitchen.

Regardless of the food that filled your hair, Felix thought you looked breathtaking. You hadn’t noticed that he’d stopped laughing until he spoke up. You went silent within seconds after Felix said “I love you Y/N.” You couldn’t believe your ears. The boy that you had fallen in love with was the one confessing to you. You must have been dreaming.

When you didn’t respond, Felix continued, “Please say something.” But instead of responding, you jumped into the boy’s arms, latching your flour covered lips onto his. After a few moments, you pulled apart and sighed in content. Then he asked you the one question you’d always dream about, “Will you be my girlfriend Y/N?”

Now here you were, a year and a half later, still dating the love of your life. At the beginning of the relationship, everything was perfect. You spent every possible second together. Felix’s schedule was bearable at the time as they had just finished promotions for the latest album and were now working on the new one. You’d visit him in the studio, watching the boys’ dance practices. You’d tag along to their recording sessions, sitting out of the way to watch them work. You did everything you could to be around Felix.

However, once the new album released, you started to see each other less and less. It didn’t bother you too much at first because you understood that this was his job. You needed to accept the fact that you wouldn’t be able to see him everyday or speak to him as much as you first did. But as more time passed, the more distant you grew from each other. What started out as a few hours, turned into a few days. Not once did you bring it up to Felix, too afraid you’d upset him. For now, you kept the thought to yourself.

These days, as Felix had been away on tour for the past three months now, you’d lost count of how many times you’ve cried yourself to sleep. It was beginning to be too much for you. The stress of your job was getting to you. The stress from your family kept piling on. The stress of not having your boyfriend by your side. You didn’t know how much more of this you could take. In the past, Felix would be the one who helped you through these things but he wasn’t here. You missed Felix. God did you miss him so much. You felt so alone. You craved for someone to hold you. For someone to tell you that everything would be alright. You needed that someone to be Felix, but things didn’t seem to be in your favor anymore. You knew you were being selfish. You wanted Felix all to yourself, or at least back to the way you guys used to be. You knew he loved you more than anything but you weren’t capable of asking him to take time away from work to give you more attention. It wasn’t fair to him. The more you thought about it, the more you realized that you’d only be holding him back. You were at a loss of what to do.

Suddenly your phone began to buzz, signaling an incoming call. The screen showed Felix’s name as he was trying to facetime you. You let it ring for a moment, debating whether or not to answer his call. Eventually you accepted it as Felix’s bright smile lit up your phone.

“Hey baby. How wa–Y/N what’s wrong?” Felix grew worried, immediately noticing how you weren’t your usual self. You remained silent, afraid that if you opened your mouth, you’d finally break.

“Baby, talk to me please” Felix pleaded with you. You could tell that he was genuinely worried. Before you could say a single word, the tears began to flow. Felix panicked, not knowing what to do to help you through the phone. He just wanted you to talk to him. “Baby–”

“I’m sorry” you spoke through choked sobs.

“Sorry? Baby you don’t have anything to be sorry for” Felix said, clearly confused at your sudden apology.

“I do though. I’m sorry for everything.”

“Baby I’m confu–”

“I can’t do this anymore” you said hurriedly. You heard his breath hitch, refusing to look at him through the screen. “I’m sorry.”

“Whatever I did, I’m sorry. Please don’t do this” Felix begged as his lip began to quiver.

“You didn’t do anything wrong Lix. In fact, you’re doing everything right. You’re living your dream with your best friends” you announced, finally looking at the boy before continuing, “I’m only going to hold you back.”

“Why would you think something like that?” Felix asked, a tear slipping down his cheek.

“Lix, we haven’t spoken in days. And when I do hear from you, it’s short and distant messages. I never said anything because I didn’t want to get in your way of work. But I feel like I’m losing you and the last thing I’m going to do is put myself between you and your job. I won’t allow you to do that” you finally let it all out as the tears continued to follow at an unstoppable rate.

“Y/N I’m sorry I haven’t been there for you like I should have been. I’ll do better, just please don’t do this” Felix pleaded with you, feeling hopeless from the other side of the world.

“I can’t Felix. I’m sorry, goodbye” you said finally before ending the call. And that’s when you officially broke. You cried and cried until your eyes ran dry and in the end, you fell asleep on your couch.

For the next four days, you just cried. You didn’t leave your house once, calling in sick from work. You couldn’t eat. You couldn’t sleep. Felix had tried calling and texting you but you simply ignored him. This was already hard enough for you, answering him would only make things worse. Everything in your life felt like it had fallen apart.

You were broken out of your thoughts when you heard a knock on your front door. Thinking it was your neighbor coming to check on you as they’d probably heard you crying through the walls. Moving to open the door, you stumbled back at the person in front of you.

“F-Felix?” you stuttered, unable to believe what your eyes were seeing.

“Hi Y/N” Felix said softly, not wanting to scare you away.

“What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be in England?” you questioned, still confused as to why he was there.

“I would’ve came sooner but we had a concert last night so I took the first flight here after it was over” Felix said. You took a closer look at his face, realizing how puffy and red his eyes were, indicating that he’d been crying.

“But why are you here?”

“You really thought I’d let you give up on us like that?” Felix smiled softly at you. You stared at the boy, unable to form any words. “Baby, I waited a long time to have you. I’m not letting you go that easily. I refuse.”

“But why? I’m just going to hold you back” you whispered, a tear slipping from you eye. Felix quickly reached a hand out, wiping his thumb across your cheek to stop the tear from falling.

“Because you are what keeps me going. Every day, you are the reason why I continue to do what I do. You are the reason I wake up every morning thankful for the life that I have. You make me strive to be a better person. I want to be better for you, in everything that I do” Felix admitted, watching as more tears flowed down your cheeks, his own soon mirroring yours.

“Lix–”

“I mean it Y/N. I love you more than anything in this world” Felix took a step closer to you, grabbing a hold of your hands.

“I love you too Lix” you placed your lips gently against his own, smiling into the kiss when he wrapped his arms tightly around your waist. How you ever thought you could be apart from him, you didn’t know. But what you did know was that you’d do everything in your power to make him feel loved just as he did for you.


End file.
